I often wonder about whether the dreams we have as kids are actually our true goals in life. Particularly, the things we said we wanted to grow up to be. Are our young interests actually early signs of what will make us truly happy later in life? It's an interesting thought.
When I was a kid, I worshiped the "kid star" talent shows. I remember the feeling I would get when I watched them on TV, the strong mixture of jealousy and longing. I wanted to be on that stage and I wanted to sing my heart out in front of an audience and reach them with my voice. Yes...I wanted to be a singer. 
How cliché, right? Every little girl wants to be a singer at some point, heh. But seriously...I dreamed of it. Every night after dinner, when I was around 8 years old, I'd go outside and climb to the top of my swing set. The sun would be setting and the sky would be streaked with orange and pink. I would close my eyes and usually dedicate my songs to someone in my family or a friend or something. Then I'd sing at the top of my lungs and imagine myself in a musical.
When I went to summer camp, I'd sing the same song every year in the talent show. My favorite song to perform was "Somewhere Out There" from the Disney movie An American Tail. 
Any other time I'd be singing something from Annie (my favorite movie as a kid) or some other musical: Marry Poppins, Hello Dolly, Wizard of Oz, etc. I loved singing show tunes especially, because I could imagine myself in the movie scenes. 
However, with my family being military, I think we traveled around too much for me to ever get any solid foundation into that dream. I was able to be in a couple school plays, but never musicals because we'd move too soon for me to get involved. Same thing with music and voice lessons. It's one of those things that I think I was always sad about, but you get used to it you know? Learn to live without it after a while.
My love for making music did inspire me to pick up the guitar when I was 13, mostly to play church songs at the time. Over time, up until the early years of college, I became almost inseparable with my guitar. Thus, one of the meanings for my website's domain name. 
I composed over 30 songs, one of which I actually recorded roughly on my computer a few years ago. I still have it, but I want to figure out how to copyright it somehow before I "release" it on the web for the public to hear.
I've never stopped wanting to reach people with music, although now it's rather a nice thought in the back of my head instead of the raging passion for it I had when I was younger. Although sometimes I think about what could have been if I pursued my dream when I was a kid. Actually, this does remind me of one memory I have that I will never, ever forget...
In high school I played guitar and sang in a youth church band (back in my religious days). We had a Friday night youth thing at my church, and this one particular night I was singing and playing the special music event. We had the lights turned down low and the stage lights a subtle glow of reds and blues. A lot of kids came up to the front of the stage and sat on pillows. I strumming to the tune of a popular church song...a slow and melodic version that I just kind of created right there, with no plan for what I was going to do.
In the middle of the performance, I opened my eyes and glanced down to the kids below me. This one girl was staring at me, her eyes wide and concentrated. There was such emotion in her face...like a pure and unaltered display of deep understanding and contentment. It almost made me stop singing, the vibe that passed to me from her eyes was so strong. I realized that I had touched her with my voice, my own music. I'll never forget that moment, like I will never forget the look in her eyes.
I still pick up my guitar and play. But it's been a couple years since I've written a song and the calluses on my fingers have softened from lack of strumming. Like I mentioned before, I still have the dream as a little thought in the back of my head. But I'm not sure I'll ever pursue it. The timing doesn't seem right to me...but who knows, right?
Maybe I understood myself more when I was a kid. Maybe I knew exactly what would make me satisfied with life, but was too young to recognize it and hold onto it. It makes me wonder if anyone else had passions when they were young, but ended up pursuing something else later in life. If you do, do you ever still think about those passions, those childhood dreams? It really is something to ponder...
Thanks to Sarai for the inspiration to write this post.
Sorry, you don’t know me. But I found this post interesting and felt inclined to comment.
I agree with your statement in that our experiences as children affect us later on in life. Personally, I think there’s always something that we naturally “cling to” as young children because we are so easily influenced when we are little. For instance, children have the tendency to desire occupations like racecar drivers and astronauts, because those jobs are shown on television.
We all have aspirations when we’re young, but the main reason that some people do not attain their goals is that they have hindrances (like inability to pay for the required education) that prevent them from doing what they truly want.
Aw, that’s nice - that your passion for music has led you to such great experiences! I’m still wanting to hear you play
I don’t remember ever wanting to be a singer when I was a kid. I wanted to be architect. I loved to draw, and the idea of designing houses made my eyes glittery! I must have drawn hundreds of houses when during my childhood - this was a passion that I had since I was in 6th grade until I was about to start university.
After being accepted to architecture school, I learned that being an architect was a whole lot more than just drawing houses. I was somewhat disappointed, but since it lost its great, it wasn’t so bad. I went on to study the other thing I always liked - science
I remember being fascinated with science during my childhood too. I plan on taking up medicine after I my bachelor’s degree, and that I can say is something that I never dreamed of when I was a kid.
I guess one can have many aspirations, and it doesn’t matter when you start being passionate about it, as long as they make you happy when you do them
Once again, evidence you and I are twins, haha. I too had passion for the theatre, singing, and music. I think what made me give most of it up was I was constantly told I wasn’t good enough. Then I got into Web Design and that’s when I was encouraged to keep going with that. But who knows… I’m majoring in Business now…
I think most kids dream of being famous, and most often “being famous” includes lots of musical aspirations. I also had “concerts” outside on my swingset where I’d sing at the top of my lungs. I LOVE music. I remember lyrics to practically every song I’ve ever heard. It’s a gift of sorts I guess. The thing about me though is that I am hugely shy and have never “seriously” sang in front of anyone before. I guess I fear being laughed at or told I’m not good? I don’t know, but I sing all the time when I am by myself. I love to sing.
My husband is very musical. He’s written 100 songs at least I’d say. He’s recorded lots of them although he is never fully satisfied with how they turn out. I used to constantly try to get him to do something with his music, but he says that he doesn’t think they’re good enough or that he just likes to write music for himself or us. He checked into copyrighting before, and because he has so many songs, it was going to be very expensive. You can get things copyrighted in different countries too, so that was some confusion he had (since he’s from Canada).
So many people out there are probably really amazing at certain things, but never share their amazingness with everyone and so the world never knows how good they are. I bet you’re a great singer, maybe you’ll be famous.
Hee hee!
I’ve always been into performing, but I’ve never really been like “zOMG I WANT TO BE FAMOUS!!!” It’s always been like, “zOMG I want to just DO what I love, and BE IN LOVE WITH IT!” I’ve never really considered it as a career.
I think childhood aspirations are difficult to trace, since so much are just whims. There are a million things I wanted to do as a child, and still want to do now. But how am I to sort out the things that I REALLY REALLY want to try, and the things I’ve just been mildly interested in?
… I guess I’ll just have to try everything!
I’m in love with guitarists, did I ever mention that?
I’m trying my best to learn to play the guitar, although now I can only play Auld Lang Syne, Scarlet and Mary had a little lamb. I really need to sharpen my skills
Oh that’s so cool, I was generally always singled out to sing in the class choir, and help others because I generally managed not sing off key. That’s all that remained
from the 3 year musical education I received in elementary school.
When I was little I loved to sing, especially cartoon/anime opening themes. My parents always laughed that whenever they started the car engine, it was like a conditioned reflex with me.
Despite that, I never wanted to become a singer. What I did want to, was become an English translator. I was dead set on acquiring this dream, and for a while slaved away at English like no other… then after 8th grade (senior year secondary school) when everyone chose computer science as a “major” in high school, I gave that up. Plus here, it’s much too competitive and I always sucked at Romanian…
Your dream however I guess did come true in a way. You sang in front of a large audience and did manage to captivate at least one of them. I’d say that’s a brilliant achievement.
I guess everyone has a passion for music.
I play the guitar too and I think that whenever I pick it up, I feel like I’m a different person who I can express myself with.
I still think about becoming a singer sometimes. I’m considering still trying out for American Idol next season.
But I think it’s just reality for me to think of the fact that it is so hard to get into that industry and I have a much more passionate relationship with writing than anything else.
I also dreamed of being a singer. I have sang in front of people (church, weddings, etc) but I don’t think I could get over my fear of crowds to be able to sing in front of a lot of people.
I would LOVE to hear you play the guitar. My husband also plays (have I told you that already?) but he focuses on bluegrass mostly. He has also composed a few songs and one of them was for me.
((Hugs)) hon!
This is an awesome post. I think, if you really want to pursue music (and maybe even musical theatre, still), then you should, because if the little bit of passion is still in the back of your head, and hasn’t gone away, you should feed it. If you don’t you might be left constantly worrying “What if I had just gone and done it? Maybe it would have worked out.”